This little blog that I am so apprehensive of writing, is a trust walk! Until recently I have made little journals for my personal reflections, the small size is less daunting. The outside is just as special to me as the inside, which is why translating it to a blog is hard for me to focus on just my faith, or just art, or just family, it is all woven too closely together. I was very nervous of putting myself and my artwork out there… thank you for your encouragement and comments, I am overwhelmed! I have been looking for my niche, apparently it is doing something that has been with me the whole time! I hope you will be encouraged, check back often, or inspired to try something new.
I will continue to write and make journals, and put some in my etsy shop (http://www.etsy.com/people/katehust). Lord willing I will have some new ones completed in about 2 weeks. They have been a source of inspiration for me, hopefully they will allow you to reflect and feel connected in deep and personal way as well.
Here is my story of the depths and highs of my day yesterday:
Yesterday I was on the highway driving to a study, which is 1 hour from my home. I was with a friend and we had three of our kiddos in the backseat. There are several stretches on the journey that are in the middle of no-where. I think the closest exit was at least five miles in the spot I pulled over with a flat tire.
Now I realize that there were lots of things about this scenario that I should be thankful for; it was light outside at 8:30AM, I was not alone, and nobody was hurt. The temperatures hovered around freezing which allowed it to be snowing instead of sleeting freezing rain. Our kids were incredibly patient and well-behaved in the backseat for the entire time (amazing in itself :). I would like to say that she and I earned bragging rights that morning by fixing our own flat tire all by ourselves but that is not quite how it happened. Neither of us had cell phones on us, we were completely surrendered by the situation.
We pulled over and confirmed I had one very flat tire. We found the jack and the spare tire. She raised the car and we took off the hub-cap. Yet, we failed to get the tire off. I was so disappointed in myself for not being able to do it on my own and felt so hopeless. We watched as cars and trucks sped by, and in disbelief we even watched a police car and a tow truck fly by. Nobody seemed available to stop at help us.
The funny thing is the study that we were going to was a bible study and the one question I left blank on my page was “When has God’s comfort and compassion produced joy in your life recently?” We candidly joked about comfort and prayed for someone to come and rescue us. Eventually the officer circled back around and helped even though we were technically out of his jurisdiction. We used his cell phone to call her husband who then drove the hour to pick her up and take the kids back. With the help of the officer the spare was put on my car and I continued to drive to Midland to get a new tire. I could find a number of things to complain about at this point; like that I had to go to two different places to find someone with a tire that would fit on my vehicle, how a simple tire change took over 2 hours, or that I learned I really need to buy a whole new set of tires. The emotions of the day and the frustrations in waiting were welling up inside. I finally was able to call my husband and let my guard down about how overwhelmed I was by the whole situation. I had bought a new (used) kiln a few weeks back and since then my oven has broken and now I need new tires. What will be next? Should I have not spent my money on this art hobby? Has God led me wrong? Truthfully I cried the whole way home, knowing inside my pity party was unfounded. It was a rather low point for me.
I know God’s goodness and faithfulness which compounded the shame of my lack of hope that morning. God did not abandon me on the contrary he promises to lead me down the best path. I found myself pondering the question, Do I trust him enough to relinquish my expectations and control? Do I allow myself to hope in him without the fear of disappointment. Has he given me talents that have any value?
When I got home my husband was waiting here to comfort me and encourage me. After he left to go back to work I checked my email, usually I have just a couple of messages but today I had hundreds. Apparently my blog post on my latest art pieces were selected for the front page of WordPress’ freshly squeezed page. I was overwhelmed by all the positive and encouraging comments on my artwork and this simple blog I just “felt I needed to start writing” just a short four months ago.
When has God’s comfort and compassion produced joy in my life recently? God does not promise that we will never have trials (even small ones as a flat tire, or really big ones) but He promises us that if we call on Him, He will rescue us, He will redeem us, comfort us and He will give us life to the fullest. Our part is to have faith which is believing without seeing, and follow Him wherever He leads us. Glory be to God that He allowed me to wrestle yesterday morning and brought me to a humble place, so that He could show His compassion and I could have the assurance from His faithfulness in the past that He is leading me to a new place. When He moves it is MIGHTY, even if the waiting is painful!
LORD, you are my God;
I will exalt you and praise your name,
for in perfect faithfulness
you have done wonderful things,
things planned long ago.